Monthly Archives: August 2011

Here comes the bride

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My mom wasn’t always 100% happy with the fact that I decided to do things so non-traditionally.  One of the things she didn’t like was that I wasn’t going to have the bridal march (here comes the bride) playing as I walked down the aisle.

But in Central Park you cannot have amplified sound without a special permit.  So, I decided we would go without.  Besides it was a simple ceremony.

On the day of the wedding as my parents were walking me to hubby for the first look, my sis-in-las stopped us to tell us that there was a guy playing a guitar and that she had asked him to play the bridal march when he saw me approaching.  (Because we didn’t have an aisle, we opted for first look photos.  My parents walked me to him and his dad, and then we all walked to the ceremony site which was nearby.)

As my parents were walking me to him, the guy witht he guitar stopped mid-song to begin the bridal march.  And all 100-150 people who were watching him begin to sing along.  It was a pretty neat experience.  I”m not one to want to be the center of attention like that, especially since we wanted our wedding to be inimate.  But, I’m glad my sis-in-law did that.  And it made my mom happy.

And really…that’s the best part of it.

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Day 1 of Marriage: It begins with an adventure and a test

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Sometimes there are things in life that you want to write down so you don’t forget the details of them.  Our first day of marriage is one such occasion. 

We left NYC for a brief honeymoon (what we refer to as a minimoon) in Vegas.  Correction: I should say we attempted to leave NYC for our honeymoon in Vegas.  Here’s how this lil adventure unfolded…

We woke up early for our 11am flight, finished packing, and went down to the lobby with bags in hand.  I checked us out of the hotel while hubby got a car for us.  We are the kind of people who like to be early to the airport so things are less stressful with security, etc.  So, we got in the cab and were on our way to the airport.  “Good bye New York City…until next time!”  We got to the airport, checked bags, and got in the security line.  And it was a loooong line. 

The is usually the point where I think most people begin to think maybe they forgot something.  We were relieved to know we made it and we were on time…a little early in fact.  So, I’m standing there trying to convince myself that all was good and that I hadn’t forgotten anything…because I always go through this when I travel.  It was then that I had a rush of panic come over me.  Do you know that feeling where it feels like your blood runs cold?  I began to sweat, got a little dizzy, and put my hands over my face trying to hold back panicked tears.  “Oh [cuss]! My dress!!  Where is my dress??!”  as I look around after I realize it’s not lapped over my arm like it should be.

Hubby: “Are you kidding me?  Where is it?”

Me: [holding back tears, shaking] “I don’t know.  I have no idea.”

That’s right.  I had no idea where my wedding dress was, but it was not with me at that moment.  Not a clue.  I looked all around, glanced back to see if I had dropped it.

“Oh my god, did I leave it in the cab??  No, I don’t think I did.”

We got out of the loooong security line and began to walk back outside to where we had been dropped off just a few minutes earlier.  And that’s when it dawned on me.

“Oh [cus]! I left it at the HOTEL! My dress is at the hotel!  I left my dress at the hotel!”

Side note: My hubby is the calm in my storm.  He is always very calm and collected under pressure, and when I’m freaking out he’s cool as a cucumber.  And not even in the kind of way that pisses me off worse.  He always knows what to say or do to bring me back down to Earth.  And that’s why I love him.  (it’s also why he makes a good firemedic;))

So, as I’m freaking out, shaking, and pacing with my head in my hands he tells me to call the hotel while he goes to see if he can get our bags back from security.  We’re obviously going to miss our flight.  So, I get out my cell phone and I looked up the number to the hotel.  I had to Google it because I didn’t have it in my phone.  (ever try to use a cell phone with your hands trembling?)  And it felt like the browser took FOREVER to load!

Meanwhile, I have a wrench in my stomach thinking my dress is gone forever.  Oh, and by the way…we were on our way to Vegas for a trash the dress photoshoot.  That’s right…the dress was a necessary component of that!  All I could think was that I was going to have to call the photographer and tell her she was just going to have to take pics of a different kind of trashed bride…a very intoxicated one after losing her wedding dress due to absent mindedness.

So, I dial the hotel and the front desk answers.  And I say “Hi, I just checked out and I forgot something in my room…”

Honestly, I don’t know if it was a guy or girl on the phone.  I absolutely cannot recall.  But they cut me off and said that they would have to transfer me to lost and found. 

“Oh great. I know how that’s going to turn out.”

So, I’m transferred and I begin to explain to the lady.  “I just checked out of room #505…”

And she says “YES! You left a beautiful wedding dress!”

Relief.

My heart begins to beat again, my blood begins to warm after running cold, and I feel elated.

“Yes!  Oh my gosh thank you SO much!!  Can I come pick it up??”

She says yes.

I hang up just as hubby is coming over from trying to get our bags back.  No luck there…they had already passed the checkpoint and were on their way to the plane – with or without us.  Oh well.  I had to go get my dress.  Now.

I see a cab pull up and drop some ladies off, so I go over there and ask if he could please (begging) please help me out.  Hubby and I explain what is going on and then tell him we need to be back within a half hour.  A look of shock comes over his face.  I know he must’ve thought we were joking.

A normal trip from our hotel to the airport takes about a half hour…one way.  We were asking for a half hour round trip.  Yep.  I told him that we would tip him handsomly if he would just try his best because it was very very important.  Suddenly, I felt like we were on The Amazing Race.  (I always wanted to be on that show.)  And a whirlwind began.

It was at this point that my mom started texting me wondering where we were.  Their gate was right next to ours.  I couldn’t tell her I forgot my dress, so I just told her we were in the security line.  I knew she would get on her flight before I knew the conclusion to our lil adventure, so I had to avoid telling her.

I got on the phone with the Delta to see about getting on the next flight as standby while we took the ride of a lifetime.

Ever see taxis in the movies?  The wild taxi driver who takes turns on two wheels?  Yea, that’s the kind of ride we had.  And, I will say, it was pretty fun.  Only in hindsight though. 

We got to the hotel, and hubby jumped out to see about getting the dress while I held off the bellman who was trying to keep traffic moving.  Sure, he has a job to do but, damnit, I’m going to get my dress.  It felt like an eternity as we sat there waiting for hubby to come back out with the dress…but he finally came running out with it.

I was thrilled.  And then right back to stressed.  Still on hold with the airline and now losing signal as we dart between buildings on our way back to the airport. 

Mom still texting me.  They saw some wedding guests in the airport.  Also in a nearby gate.  Awesome.  “We’re still in looong security line.”

We made it to the airport with about 15-20 mins to spare.  They begin boarding planes about 20 minutes before departure.  So, we got into the security line (again) knowing our flight was boarding. 

Guess what?

We made our flight.  And I said to hubby “We have most definitely run out of luck.  No chance of a jackpot in Vegas.”

I didn’t get to tell my mom the story of what happened until we were boarding our connecting flight a few hours later.  It was better telling her now that we could laugh about it.

And so our minimoon began.  With one precious adventure that we will never forget.

Why we opted for a marriage

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If you read the “About” page of this blog (and if you haven’t please pause and do so before continuing) you saw the part where I said we opted for a marriage rather than a wedding.  While it is true that we got both (we had a wedding which resulted in our marriage), we did not want a big, fancy pants wedding.

Translated: I did not want a circus production and I did not want to be a performer on a stage doing the things everyone but the two of us wanted to do.  I did not want to be a puppet.  I also didn’t want to finance our future for the sake of a 4-5 hour event.  Hubby was ready to elope the day after he proposed in Vegas.  But, unless they have wedding chapels with funeral homes in them that wasn’t going to happen.  (my mom would have killed me)

As I got older, I realized that a wedding to me wasn’t really about having a lavish affair or spending gobs of money on an open bar and a DJ…to entertain everyone else.  And, it took me a year of being engaged to come full-circle and to realize that I really, really did not want that.

Why did it take me a year to realize that?  Well, have you seen what magazines and websites like The Knot.com promote?  Everything with their pages (both physical and virtual) is unrealistic, impractical, and ungodly expensive.  And, I came to the conclusion that even if I had a million dollars to plan a wedding I was not going to give it to the bloodsucking industry that is wedding planning.  They are evil.  They latch on to your emotions and they make you want things that you cannot afford.  They lure you (and your PARENTS!) into unreasonable debt.  Debt for which you have nothing to show for…and chances are you won’t remember much from this lavish event.  Except for what pictures you get…and you better hope those pictures are good!  (that’s the one thing I wasn’t willing to sacrifice…i really wanted good pictures…i wanted memories)

Because my mom preferred that we actually have a wedding event, I am the only girl after all, I had to think about what I wanted in a wedding.  What was important to me was that we had the people who wanted to be there…there.  I wanted it to be something memorable for everyone, but especially for us.  I also insisted that it was outdoors.  (Why people choose to rent beige rooms and spend $10k decorating them is beyond my comprehension.)  I knew I wanted orange flowers – regardless of what season we got married.  I wanted good pictures.  Candid pictures.  Memories.  People who were closest to use to share our special day.  And pizza.  I wanted pizza for dinner.  None of that stuffy, white-gloved cold, awful food that NO ONE eats at weddings.

My mother and I looked at over 50 places/venues.  I’m not kidding.  We looked coast to coast, near and far.  And I felt like Goldilocks: “this one is too bland, this one is too expensive, this one is too far removed…”  And then one day, as I was having a breakdown wishing we had just eloped and begged for forgiveness from my mom, hubby was helping me brainstorm some new ideas.  Then he said “what about New York City?”  At first, I rejected the idea (too far, too expensive).  But then I woke up the next day and did some research to find out it was EXACTLY what I wanted.  And I love, love, love NYC.  It was perfect.  And you know what?  I didn’t care that it was far and that it might cost some money.  As far as the expense of it, I knew it would cost far less than the circus production my mom wanted.  And as far it beign too far, I decided tha if people wanted to be there then they would be there.  And my mind was made up.  That was it.  And was SO, so excited.

It was outdoors in an amazing city that we both love.  It was green, it was on the water, it was surrounded by a magnificent skyline.  And we will never forget it.  It wasn’t just an event for the sake of an event.  It was our wedding…and it was very special to US.  It didn’t matter what anyone else thought because it was all about us.  And that’s why we loved it.  And I think that’s what makes our marriage special.  And our vows reflected it…

Our officiant, Judie, wrote this about marriage in our vows:

“Weddings are a relentless propagation of the idea of marriage; they arouse in us an impulse to become glamorous.  But a marriage has more substance…”

What’s in a name?

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Two weeks ago, I was at the Social Security Administration changing my last name.  It’s legal immediately after the marriage license, but there is much to do to make it official.  The SS Admin office was the first of many steps involved. 

Today I went to the DMV (oh joy) to change my license.  Got a new picture and everything.  Then, I went to the bank to change my name on our accounts.  And the highlight was that neither of these lil adventures was stressful or took very long.  Nope, not even the DMV.  I also called the property appraiser and left a voice mail…and who knows if the mailbox was even for the right person.  I want my new name associated with our home.  Not sure what this will require.  We’ll see!

While we’re on the topic of names I thought I might explain the name of the blog.  Our ceremony and our vows were customized by our officiant, who has an amazing gift for words I might add.  With the exception of the few things my mother requested, our wedding was completely non-traditional.  I requested that we incorporate my engagement ring into the vows because I see it as a symbol of all of the reason we decided to enter into marriage in the first place.  To me, too many people forget about life and love before marriage.  My engagement ring serves as a reminder of life, love, and (as our officiant put it) our precious adventures that paved the way to our wedding day.  Here’s to many precious adventures as we begin our life as a married couple.

The big “so what!”

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I was never one for journaling.  In fact, I hated it so much that when my high school English teacher required it each day (for a grade) I was usually just writing about how much I despised doing it.  I’m sure she enjoyed reading those entries.  She never asked me about it and, in case you’re wondering, I did pass the class.  =)

Now, why in the world would I want to blog about things if I hate journaling so much?  Well, frankly, it’s because I never understood the point in writing things down only to keep them to yourself.  Sure, I’ve written things down I didn’t want people to see them.  But, I tore them up or burned them.  It’s much easier than having to hide a book that temps others into your “secrets.”

I also don’t really have any secrets.  I’m an open book, for the most part.  I wear my feelings on my sleeve and I am incapable of being “fake” or “putting up a front” as far as facial expressions go.  This is why I was no good for the hospitality industry.  I cannot just stand there while someone screams and curses at me over what is sometimes LITERALLY spilt milk.

So, here I am: first time homeowner (we closed in Feb) newly wed (as of June).  Blogging about home ownership, marriage, and life.