Category Archives: Just me

My promise to other homeowners


I just need to vent for a moment.

What has been going on with water intrusion in our house is frustrating, angering, maddening, and seemingly never ending.  When I tell others about what is going on with our recent War with Water, most people are blowing it off as “part of homeownership.” Frankly, I’m tired of hearing that.

They have said it for everything that we have experienced as far as the downside of homeownership goes.  “Yep, that’s the joy of owning a home.”  It comes across as unsympathetic and inconsiderate of the fact that we are frustrated beyond reason.  To me, it’s equivalent to seeing someone fall down and then waking by shrugging and walking away, then turning around and making a comment about why that person fell “well if you weren’t skipping along enjoying life…”

I can’t decide if people who say this are just oblivious to the fact that I am about to lose my mind over a constant stream (no pun intended) of household issues or if they are trying to make me regret the decision to buy a home.  I would by lying if I said I have not had thoughts of regretting buying a home these days.  Sometimes I wonder if new home construction would have been better…because it’s likely I would have been onsite everyday micromanaging the construction to make sure it was done right.

I worry day and night that the water intrusion will cause mildew and mold in our house, which will render it unsellable in the future, should we decide to resell.  This has caused me a loss of sleep that is only making it more maddening.

Here is my promise to all other homeowners – even those who have “shrugged and walked away” in response to our recent issues:

I promise to always be empathetic to all things that are “just part of homeownership” because it doesn’t make it any easier to be told that it “just comes with the territory.”  I will assume you knew what you were getting into when you made the decision to buy.  I will do my best to help you brainstorm what the problem might be, if it is of unknown origin.  I promise to never make snide or sarcastic remarks in regard to the “joy of homeownership.”


My Roaring Twenties


A week ago, on May 26, I turned 30.  As this milestone birthday approached, I was initially a little frightened of it.  I didn’t want to have to say I was thirty…and later thirty-something.  I watched as many of my friends turned 30, and I was inspired by many who pledged to rock their thirties.  Then, I decided to do the same.  In fact, I realized after much introspection that I am 100% happy to have my twenties behind me.

I have taken some time to reflect on that decade of my life.

For starters, turning 20 was just “eh.”  I was beyond my teen years, but still not of a “respectable” age.  Meh.  Indifference.  Basically still a teen in college.

My 21st birthday was one of my more memorable ones.  My parents took me to Vegas, where I gambled and we saw shows.  I also went to Red Rock Canyon for the first time, which I believe changed me forever.  During this trip, even the last 20 minutes before going to the airport were memorable.  Here’s a brief summary:

Mom: Help me get rid of some of these dollar tokens.  (back in the day when they had tokens instead of tickets…I’m old, I know)
Me: No, I’m tired, just cash them out.
[Mom shoves the tokens into my hand and says “play” with that “mom” look in her eyes.]

I didn’t play dollar slot machines.  Pennies and nickles were my speed.  I was just learning.  Walked over to a machine and sunk in three coins (max bet).  clunk, clunk, clunk  I hit for $7 and thought that was pretty good…so I cashed out.  Still ready to go I looked over at my mom who signaled me to just play.  To the next machine.  I sunk in another max bet, and played for awhile actually hoping to just lose the money I had.  I sat there in a dumbfounded stupor (which isn’t hard to do after 10 days in Vegas) pressing the Max Bet button repeatedly.  The good news is the machine was letting me play…which is good. 

The next thing I knew, the Max Bet button stopped working.  I banged on it some more and nothing.  My mom looked over at me gasping.

Me: I broke it!!  Malfunction voids all play!  I lost all that money! [as my mother approaches my machine, I thought she was going to be upset]
Mom: No, hunny, you WON!!!  [as she laughs in excitement, shaking me]

We examined the payout thing at the top.  Yep, I won $2000 just before our cab pulled up.  All of the attendants and many of the staff came over to congratulate me, as they had become familiar with me during our stay. 

It’s an experience I’ll never forget.

At 22, I had a quarter-life crisis.  I’m not sure many folks know, but I had a near breakdown and a full on crisis.  I had too much going on, and learned in this year of my life that I truly, most certainly, cannot control everything.  I was working two jobs, graduating college, trying to get into grad school (what was I to do with a BS in Psychology), and going through a major breakup after four years, dealing with a PSYCHOTIC roommate who threatened to kill me resulting in anxiety attacks and charges filed for assault.  To top it off, my Nana died.  That crushed me.  In a nutshell, things were exactly opposite of how I had envisioned they would be at that age.  I thought I would be getting married…starting a life…and certainly believed my Nana would be there to see my college graduation AND my wedding.  I am what I call a recovering control freak since this year of my life.  Still wishing I could control things, but content in knowing some things are just beyond me.

At 25, I struggled with knowing I was a whole quarter-century old.  That was mind blowing to me.  Seems silly now…but it freaked me out.

After 25, things seemed to turn around.  I just let go and decided to “just do me.”  I didn’t need anyone.  Family was my foundation and that was all I needed.  I became independent, perhaps to a fault, as I worked to pay bills and make something of myself…and for no one but me.  I dated around.  I met lots of people, and learned many lessons.

At 27, I met the man who would become my husband.  He is the calm in my storm and I have no idea where I would be without him.  My family loves him and, despite saying he didn’t like cats, my cat has taken to him as the alpha male.  Yes, he stole my heart and my cat!  No worries – we got another one who is my shadow…an annoyance.  🙂  I asked for it.

Since then, wedding planning and buying a house have been our major milestones together.  Two levels of hell I wish to never experience again.  =)  I also made some conscious decisions to eliminate a few people from my life.  I determined that they were cancerous to me and that my friendships with them were very one-sided (meaning I was the only one putting in any effort and I was the one who could be relied on through thick and thin).  That’s ok.  It had to be done.

So…I’m actually really looking forward to my thirties and I am happy to see my twenties in my rear-view mirror.

Here’s to rockin’ my thirties!

Update: Violets


Two days after receiving the violets I noticed two of the three blooms are wilted.  I suppose that was supposed to happen…right??

I mean, flowers wilt.  I didn’t think it was noteworthy so I didnt get a picture.   Also, I figured it was the beginning of their demise in my care.

This morning I woke up to find one of the cats playing with something.  Upon inspection I discovered it was a leaf from the violets.  *sigh*  As if I needed help killing them.

I figured they ate the violet and wondered if they’re poisonous.

But, when I checked, they hadn’t eaten it.  Secretly, I wish they had destroyed it.  Then the death of the violets would not be my fault…not directly anyway.

Here are the violets now:


Ahhh…Valentine’s Day


And so it’s almost time once again for Valentine’s Day.  In fact, this fake holiday will be upon us  just a month from yesterday.

I am not your typical girl for many reasons, but not the least of which is that I truly dislike Valentine’s Day.  This isn’t something new for me.  I have always disliked it, so don’t go drawing assumptions that I’m fighting with hubby or that I’m damaged.

In high school, I would sit back and observe the various acts of pressured kindness…but I also observed many unnecessary fights and breakups.  A couple girlfriends and I would roll our eyes at the drama that unfolded, and that night we rented horror films like Carrie, The Craft, and Heathers.  You know, movies with chicks who just don’t care…some with a lot of chicks dying.  It’s just what we did.

People always thought I didn’t like V-day because I was single, and you might be wondering why I don’t like it when I have a husband to celebrate with (by the way, WHAT exactly do you celebrate??).  The assumptions about my being single and bitter couldn’t have been more wrong.  In fact, I was a serial dater for awhile and…I have always asked boyfriends that they not observe the day.  At least not with me.  I don’t care what they buy their moms and sisters…but leave me out of it.  Here’s why…

I believe if you love someone you should tell/show them everyday of the year. And really…how is it “special” if everyone else on Earth is going to dinner and movies for the exact same reason on the exact same day? If you want to wait in lines and deal with crowds…go to Disney World in July.

So, ladies, don’t get all dramatic and start fights. If you have expectations for V-day then tell your guy.  TODAY.  Don’t expect him to read your mind and then get all mad when he “fails” to do so.   Communication works wonders.  And it doesn’t mean he doesn’t love you if he doesn’t shower you with gifts now or any other time of the year.

And it isn’t a competition of love.  If your girlfriend gets something better from her guy it doesn’t mean she’s loved more than you are.  You want roses?  They’re expensive!  And they cost three times more to get them on V-day.  What a racket.  Way, WAY too much pressure on guys (and their wallets) this time of year.  Keep it simple.

Why not pick a different day and  make it special?  Why not create a special day that doesn’t involve crowds at restaurants, lines at movie theaters, and price-gouged candy?  My parents, for example, celebrate Friday the 13th.  It’s special because it’s unusual and it doesn’t happen very often.  There’s no pressure to measure up to what others are doing or rush for reservations.  The simplicity of it is awesome.

You want to know what the best part of Valentine’s Day is?  The day afterwards!  Duh…super sales on candy!

I have had two cards like this for as long as I can remember. Even when I bought them I didn't know what I would do with them. But I love them. The V-day heart is actually a button that you can wear. lol!

The big “so what!”


I was never one for journaling.  In fact, I hated it so much that when my high school English teacher required it each day (for a grade) I was usually just writing about how much I despised doing it.  I’m sure she enjoyed reading those entries.  She never asked me about it and, in case you’re wondering, I did pass the class.  =)

Now, why in the world would I want to blog about things if I hate journaling so much?  Well, frankly, it’s because I never understood the point in writing things down only to keep them to yourself.  Sure, I’ve written things down I didn’t want people to see them.  But, I tore them up or burned them.  It’s much easier than having to hide a book that temps others into your “secrets.”

I also don’t really have any secrets.  I’m an open book, for the most part.  I wear my feelings on my sleeve and I am incapable of being “fake” or “putting up a front” as far as facial expressions go.  This is why I was no good for the hospitality industry.  I cannot just stand there while someone screams and curses at me over what is sometimes LITERALLY spilt milk.

So, here I am: first time homeowner (we closed in Feb) newly wed (as of June).  Blogging about home ownership, marriage, and life.