It felt surprisingly weird

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Last week, a girlfriend and her husband closed on their first house.  Their home-buying experience was not unlike most these days.  It was arduous from start to finish, there were delays, there was emotion, frustration, and disappointment.  And then, as closing day approached, my girlfriend expressed to me that she felt like she couldn’t allow herself to be excited because she was waiting for yet another postponement and further disappointment.  This would be the third closing date they had set, so what else were they to expect?

It’s tough to be excited about something when it feels like it’s being dangled over your head.  These days, home-buying requires more patience than ever.  And it almost requires a heart of steel.

I write about their experience because I have reflected on it a year after we closed on our home.  I have especially reflected on one of her status updates to Facebook:

“We started moving into the house yesterday, which felt surprisingly weird.”

This was validation for me, because I felt the same way after we (finally) closed on our home.

Our Realtor walked us out after we were given the keys, and I asked “So now what?  What ball drops now?”

After a repeated performance of disappointment, I wasn’t believing it was over…and just like that…quickly…after months and months of waiting and high-strung emotions.  We were always getting excited over what always wound up being short-lived good news, and I had been conditioned [thanks, Pavlov] to expect it to be that way…possibly for eternity.  So, even though we had signed closing papers and had keys in hand I completely expected there to be bad news headed my way.  I was sure of it.

Our Realtor laughed, and then reassured me that the house was ours.

And that was it.  Eight months of emotional highs and lows and it was just…over.  Quickly.  It was…weird.

I felt a little guilty that I wasn’t truly excited.  I was afraid to be.  We moved in, and well…that felt surprisingly weird, too.

It wasn’t until months later after living in the home and making it ours that it sunk in.  We weren’t renters anymore.  This place is ours.  Wow.  And THAT’S weird, too!!

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2 responses »

  1. Yes, thank you. This is exactly how I felt too. Still feel actually (I was starting to get excited but then found out I have to replace my roof in order to get/keep homeowners insurance so that kinda felt like that other ball dropping). I felt a little bad when people would ask me how it felt to be a homeowner and expect me to be excited about it only to find out I was merely cautiously relieved to be finished with the homebuying process.

    In a related note, it is amazing how many people would hear about what I was going through and would say something like, “That’s can’t be right, that’s not what happened when we bought.” It’s frustrating not only to see how much smoother the process used to be but also be told you’re doing something wrong even though you know that’s not true. Gee, thanks for making me feel like even more of an idiot than this process already has!

  2. I know what you mean about feeling relieved that the buying process was over! And congrats again on making it through the process, Rae!

    I, too, found myself explaining to people that the real estate market has changed. As I went into the details about the hell we were going through, they would often ask questions in disbelief. And then they would make comments about how they are glad they aren’t going through it. Gee, thanks for all the empathy.

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